You can recognize your worth and apply it to the greaterbenefit. This does not imply that all of your friendships are in danger or thatthey will all become different. Even if those relationships won't necessarilylast a lifetime, some will undoubtedly stick around. Contrary to Disneyland'squick pass line, the road to sobriety is getting longer.
Your Personal Life Will Eventually Change Once You GetSober-
1. One shift will be in your friendships.
If you drink as most people do, you've probably spent timewith a bunch of drinkers at some point. I'd say a lot of us are attracted to agroup of friends that share our drinking tendencies because we didn't wantsober pals.
People may be horrified by your decision when you disclosethat you have stopped drinking. You may have just complicated their efforts todetermine whether they are OK with who they are as people and taken away someof their justification for their actions and way of life.
Some of your friends or others who feel threatened by yourchoice may act in ways like pretending it's not occurring, pressuring you todrink, or questioning your decision. They occasionally cut off allcommunication with you.
There is no one best way to approach this. It's a benefit ofsobriety and isn't necessarily a bad thing. In addition to helping you find newconnections that support your new ideals, sobriety can be a fantastic method tolet go of old ones.
While it can be painful and upsetting to see certainrelationships go astray, all you can do is have faith that friendships willeither dissolve or develop naturally and that whichever path they follow isusually for a purpose. Keep your expectations in mind and be patient.
2. Check splitting becomes widespread.
I never gave the idea of splitting the check with a groupany thought before I stopped drinking. After college, having a lunch that costfour dollars more than mine, eating more edamame, or even having one more drinkthan I did simply became irrelevant.
This is more significant now that I'm sober. Not justbecause my check is far smaller than everybody else's at the table, but alsobecause I won't put money into Big Alcohol. Morally, I disagree.
3. Netflix, seltzer, and jammies will all acquire new significance.
I never thought of myself as an introvert while I wasintoxicated. I would have described myself as someone who enjoyed being aroundpeople and spending time with them out late at night. In the past, when Iwasn't sober, I frequently needed a drink to socialize.
Not only did my recovery require that I spend a lot of timeby myself, taking care of myself, and staying in a lot, but I also found that Ienjoy being alone myself. When I'm alone myself, I can refuel, but when I'maround people, especially in large groups, I can become depleted. This aspectof me was concealed by alcohol.
There are others like me. Ask any sober individual if theywould like to attend a cocktail party or remain home with a case of La Croix,The Crown, and a pajama set. I'd wager that nine out of ten of us won't evenrespond and will instead simply giggle because the question is so absurd. Beingsober doesn't necessarily make you Liz Lemon, but it can let you see thatyou've been Liz Lemon your entire life.
4. You'll have questions about why you abstain from alcohol as well asignorant comments made about it.
In a culture where it's considered odd to refrain fromalcohol, you are now a mirror and a flashlight of sobriety. People will presumeyou drink and will be quite interested in learning why you don't when they do.
If people press for that response, I'll either shift thesubject or just gaze at them awkwardly while maintaining silence. There arecertain exceptions to this rule, such as when a person makes a passingreference to their battle with alcohol, in which case I might share more of mypersonal experience. This has not frequently occurred.
5. Eventually you'll engage in sober sex.
I don't have a lot of sex, so it's more accurate to statethat I don't any longer lower my standards to sleep with just anyone because ofbeer goggles. I can't get drunk anymore and skip the getting to know you stage,so there is no easy way out for me anymore.
You will, once and for all, realize that sex is never how itappears in the movies. There is no longer any tolerance for them seeing yourcellulite or whatever else you're hiding behind that. The dance between the twouncomfortable, frail humans is awkward and frail.
6. Some individuals won't want to date you since you are sober.
Sobriety can be a deal-breaker for certain people. Althoughit would appear to be dreadful, this is not a terrible thing. This is a JOYOUSand great thing because it quickly weeds out the ones that don't fit with youor have odd relationships with alcohol.
You will eventually come to appreciate it as the gift it is,and you won't waste time getting to know the wrong person since it will hurt(quite badly at first). It resembles an enhanced filter.
7. You'll probably find out you're weird.
Let's label this trait I have as "Inevitably AwkwardSomewhat Socially Inept Woman That Doesn't Know How To Make Small Talk"mixed with "Woman That Doesn't Feel Like She Belongs," "WomanThat Is Preternaturally Afraid of All People," and perhaps a little bit of"Snowflake Empath Who Feels Everyone Else's Everything."
Since I'm sober now, I can just be myself in every circumstance.There is no way out, no lubricating the gears, no miraculous medicine thatmakes people less fearful, and there is no way to make me more "sociallynormal." I can't change who I am, which is ideal since we ought to all beas fortunate as I am to be who we are in public.
You could have drinking and using dreams regardless of howlong you have been sober. You may feel uncomfortable and experience cravings asa result of these dreams (or nightmares).
People who are sober and inquisitive may not intend toentirely give up alcohol, but they may wish to stop for a short while to see ifrestricting their alcohol intake or becoming completely sober in the futuremight be helpful to their lifestyle.
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